What's your attachment style?

Photograph by Lynda Pirtle

Kids must “attach” to their primary caregivers to grow into healthy, well-adjusted adults. This means receiving the right amount of love and attention and taking care of their needs most of the time. When that doesn’t happen, attachment disorders can develop.

Attachment Theory proposes that the bond between a child and their primary caregiver significantly impacts the child’s emotional and social development. This theory postulates that children develop four different attachment styles based on the quality of their relationship with their primary caregivers. Kids that get the right amount of love and attention grow up to be “securely attached.” On the other hand, kids that don’t get the love and attention they need to develop “attachment wounds” that will require some therapeutic intervention if they ever want to “earn” secure attachment.

Here are the four attachment styles:

1. Secure Attachment: A person feels comfortable with intimacy and seeking out and receiving emotional support. They have a favorable view of themselves, others, and the world. As a result, they are comfortable with being alone and with others and can form healthy, long-lasting relationships.

2. Anxious Attachment: A person often feels insecure and worries that their partner may not love or be available to them. They tend to be overly clingy and dependent. They may be overly critical and view themselves negatively.

3. Avoidant Attachment: A person avoids getting too close to others and may feel uncomfortable with intimacy. They may have a negative view of others and may not trust them. They may also view themselves negatively and feel unworthy of love and affection.

4. Disorganized Attachment: A person may exhibit avoidant and anxious behaviors. They may be confused about their feelings and may have difficulty regulating their emotions.

Do you know your attachment style? Click the links below to take an assessment. I gave you two, so you can take both and compare your results. Afterward, let me know what you discovered about yourself: https://quiz.attachmentproject.com/

https://traumasolutions.com/attachment-styles-quiz/

More on how to work through attachment wounds in the next post.

Wishing you abundant health, happiness, and prosperity,

Mark